We live in a world that competes for honor. Social media is essentially a daily referendum on who is most impressive, gets the most attention, and is the most followed. We curate images, craft narratives, and position ourselves to be seen favorably. Even in relationships, there tends to be an internal scorekeeping: who got the credit, who got the recognition, who got thanked.

Paul inverts it all with a simple assertion: “Outdo one another in showing honor” (Rom 12:10).

The word translated “outdo” is proēgeomai, a compound word combining pro (before, in front) and hēgeomai (to lead, to go first). It was the word for the person who takes the lead, who gets there ahead of everyone else. Paul attaches it to timē “honor” and creates something striking: a competition where the prize is not receiving honor but giving it.

Go first. Take the initiative. Get there before anyone else — not to receive honor, but to bestow it.

This is subversive in ways we easily miss. It is not hard to honor people who have honored us first. That is just the social ledger balancing itself. What Paul describes is something different, a posture that does not wait to see what it will get back, that does not calculate the return on investment, that does not honor people as a tool for getting something from them.

This is the heart of a community formed by gospel love. And it is impossible to sustain on willpower alone. Paul knows this, which is why, in the verses that follow (12:11-13), he instructs the church to “feed the fire”: stay fervent in spirit, rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and be constant in prayer. The love he describes in Romans 12:10 is not the product of good intentions. It is the overflow of a life kept close to the gospel flame.

Here is where it gets personal. There are people in your life who are difficult to honor. Maybe they have disappointed you. Maybe they are socially inconvenient and annoying. They are people who cannot advance your standing, cannot offer you anything useful, and cannot return the favor. Paul says: Those are people to move toward. “Associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.”

The world moves upward, toward usefulness, influence, and advantage. The gospel consistently moves downward. On the night before the cross, Jesus wrapped himself in a towel and washed the feet of men who would abandon him, and one who would betray Him. That is not a metaphor. That is the shape of the love Paul is describing. The Head of the body, the supreme One, came down, all the way down, and got there first.

Because you were fully known and fully loved in Christ, you are free to stop competing for status and start competing to give it away. That is what a church shaped by grace looks like from the inside. A people unapologetically racing to outdo one another, not in impressiveness, but in honor.